Week 7 - Are we in Oyster Heaven??? BECAUSE WE’VE JUST GONE SEVEN FROM SEVEN!


From the Committee

Sponsors, parents, friends, supporters, coach, and players, here we are with an extra special edition of the Oysters Circular. This fine weekend has passed, and we bid farewell to the regular season of the Division 5 NSW Suburban Rugby Union competition. At this critical juncture, we would also like to invite all our beloved readers to bid farewell to all earthly pleasures and enter a higher plane of reflection with us. Please join your hands, close your eyes, perhaps hum a religious prayer (or silently repeat your personalized mantra for those who practice transcendental meditation), and focus on your breathing. Feel the hairs on your neck start to rise as you imagine the sweet, saline scent of a freshly shucked oyster tickle your nasal hair follicles. Feel your eyes begin to roll back into your head as your mind slips further and further back into your calcium carbonate mental fortress. A single ten letter word begins to envelop your consciousness…what does it say? You can't quite make it out yet…but then it gets louder.








Talk about perfection…what a place to play footy.


Just as the waves created by Moses parting the Red Sea smashed against the local Pinctada (Egyptian rock oysters) in 1250 B.C., "PERFECTION" reverberates throughout your body, from the top of your beautifully gelled hair down to those perfectly manicured toes. The word, the concept, the idea, utterly overwhelms you as your personal conceptions of perfection begin to creep into your mind. What could we all be picturing right now? Each to their own I guess. However, for comparative purposes, we would like to provide the views of a particular fiery Oysters supporter (Monsieur Dominic Rémond) on what perfection could look like in the context of back rower performances:



Excuse the shameless self-plug








We were even joined by All Blacks royalty! @jtp163 I think you misspelled Oysters*



At this point, we would like to add a number of caveats:


1. We would not have been able to reach the precipice of having a fairy-tale season without the support of our sponsors, supporters, players, and broader community. We keep hammering this point every time we have something celebratory to write about (which is quite often) and it’s not just to appease those chastise the Circular from time to time for having an "arrogant" tone (you know who you are). Regardless of whatever smack talk we cook up (please see above), this point is unequivocal.

2. Every time perfection is mentioned in this circular should have a footnote next to it. That footnote shall read: "Dependent on the outcome of the semi-final and grand final to be played over the next two weekends". The Oysters are under no illusions that, despite finishing the season as undefeated minor premiers, the journey is still not yet complete as we still have to conquer the treacherous seas (oh wow an ocean metaphor!) of the finals.

3. Tangent (noun; a straight line or plane that touches a curve or curved surface at a point, but if extended does not cross it at that point). The entire discussion above was a HUGE tangent but we are unapologetic given we are feelin' BIG OYSTA ENERGY. Please see below for some return to relevance.


What a day it was down at Rushcutters playing against the King's Old Boys ("the Kobbies"). The Kobbies performance on the field was about as tight as some of the post-game Oyster / Pearl mingling we witnessed: the heart was there but endeavors were ultimately unsuccessful. Jokes aside, they were a great side and a great bunch of blokes, and we really enjoyed playing them.



The Oysters were lucky enough to have halfback Roy Harrison join us this week


We’ll hand it over to coach for this week’s edition of the Coach’s Corner.


Coach’s Corner:


“Sitting pretty at 6 from 6, the stage was set for a cracker final regular season game down at Rushcutters Bay, as Kings Old Boys came to town to try and ruin the Oysters fun. Conditions were perfect and the fans seemed to agree, with many socially distant park goers settling in around the ground, eager for some running rugby.


The wind was at our backs to start the game, both teams exchanged blows early, feeling each other out with play being mostly contained to the middle of the field. The Oysters set piece was looking rock solid, and after winning a penalty, the buoys looked to capitalize and kicked to the side line. Sam Wood crashed it up in the midfield to give us a good platform. Following another strong carry by the pigs, the Oysters quickly switched back to attack down the narrow sideline, Seamus Frost got on the outside of his man and then gave the pass to put Hamish Lorang away who raced down to score our first try.



Ooh-ah, Oysters!


We wanted to have good line speed in defence, and Kings recognized this early. Their five-eight looked to kick to the corner in order to keep our defence guessing. Luckily, both Harry Cole & Mitch Rice-Brading were on their toes and covered the field well, always looking to shift the ball and counter attack when possible. We worked our way back into the redzone off some patient attacking play before earning another penalty. Keeping with the up-tempo game plan, Lachy Argiris took a quick tap and nearly weaved his way over the line. The ball was recycled quickly and spun to the skipper Angus McClelland who bull-dozed his way over to extend the lead.


Despite some more points being scored, Kings Old Boys dominated possession for the rest of the half. They looked to keep it tight and attack around the fridges with their forward pack. Our pigs muscled up defensively and a particular highlight was No 6 Joel Cheung. In his first start, Joel was loving the physical stuff, constantly racing off the line and tackling hard and low. Kings were a well drilled side, and their persistence paid dividends as they scored before the half to narrow the gap.


CCC Lachy Argiris steals another lineout for the good guys


The pressure was put on the Oysters early in the second half, as the Kings inside centre intercepted a pass at halfway and found himself with a clear run to the try line. Seemingly on for all money, Hamish Lorang put in a monster effort to sprint and drag him down inches from the line. Tom Ritchie also showed good hustle to get in position and apply pressure at the breakdown with his fellow backrowers, winning a relieving penalty. A few minutes later and Kings were nearly in again, finding lots of space down the right touch line. Jack Remond made a try-saving intercept before quickly turning and sprinting down the field. He stepped inside the full-back and calmly dished the pass inside to his support. Mitch Rice Brading chased the attacking kick which followed hard however it just beat everybody into touch.


We lost a man to the sin-bin for a dangerous tackle and Kings held the ball for much of the remainder of the game, Whilst they attacked well to get in our own half, I was very impressed with the buoys relentless pressure & sting in defence. In his return from injury, Daniel Bottrell sealed the win for the Oysters with a cracking full field try. He caught the ball with not many options, but backed himself, weaving & stepping through a few defenders before breaking the line en route to score. Finally, a big shout out to Red Dog who also had his first start. The big fella toiled hard and scrummaged well, I hope he continues his efforts next week in the semi-final.”



The great man Mr. R. Dog during a strong 40 minute stint… “Fire Up!”


- Louis Biscoe a.k.a “Coach Boone”




The regular season has come to a close and it was great to see so many of our sponsors down at the Reef. We were lucky to have such a spectacular day that really summed up what Oyster Rugby is about, good crowd, good community, good values and maybe some good footy in between.


Peper’s Pie Reviews:


After an unprecedented statewide pie shortage this week, we’ll have to hit Pep up for a final review at season’s close.


Season Schedule




Exhibit F: Who Won Today?... OYSTERS!!! – Play that on repeat (7 times).



Exhibit G: Keep building that MOMENTUM

Exhibit H: An away SF: Luckily, the Shire is our second Home.


Around the Ground – Presented by Punt Hub


G’day Punters, Mark from Punt Hub here with another wrap up.


What a weekend it was, as the Oysters finished the regular season with a great win over Kings Old Boys.


We had some nervous moments during the game, with someone in the know placing $100 on a three leg multi paying 1500/1. The first 2 legs fell into place with both J Cheung and R. Dog lasting the whole first half. Luckily, the third leg “Tom FK to last 10mins without being yellow carded” fell 20 seconds short, phew.


The moment of the match for us was watching Hamish Lorang chasing down KoB’s Brendan Davis 5m short of the line. Whilst it did not affect the final score, it had 2 after affects: 1) Hamish is 20/1 to ever be able to straighten his finger and 2) Brendan had already scored one try, this second one would have put him on 8 for the year and tied him with Lachy Argiris in the chase for top Jeffrey Cup try scorer of the year. This weekend might just decide that market with Lachy (8), Brendan (7) and current leader Corey Robert Wills (9) from North Cronulla all playing. Get your bets in early as this market is heating up.


Our semi-final same game multi:

- Oysters -5.5

- No Scrum in first 15mins

- First scoring play- KoBs penalty goal

- Sam Wood to kick 3+ conversions


This one is paying $14.50.


Happy punting!




(Please note all bets above are for banter purposes and not real bets).


As always have a fantastic week, go the Oysters, and above all, SHUCK ‘EM!


Sydney Harbour Rugby Club