Week 3

Hello and welcome back one and all to what was an action packed week in Oysterland, and with that an action packed circular! Our crustaceous characters were salivating at the thought of a late afternoon kick-off down on the No.1 synthetic, followed by some well priced schooners which had passed the Norcookie pub test as he welcomed down his fan club to a cracking day of subbies rugby in the sun. Big Coach Big Wiv had taken himself to Mudgee for a wellness retreat and some stress relief after pulling all his hair out on the sidelines the week before. Whilst sampling a few Sangiovese’s and cab savs he was still rather active on the group chats, quick to spray each and every player and continue to critique throughout the game.

After a solid training run in the week where Wiv jnr took the reins as head coach and ran us through our paces, a strong performance followed as detailed in our match report to follow. In light of our Anzac Day efforts across both the LBH and NBRSL (also detailed below) it was a wonderful few days for the Oyster community and a chance to give back to our beloved sponsors. And thus after some formalities including yet another boat race win (I believe our first back to back Ws on the guzzling contest) the team meandered on over to NBRSL for a fantastic round table of scrumptious snitzels and even better tooheys olds. Might I interject the wonderful hospitality of the rathouse and our priceless ratpasses by shouting out Ronan the physio whom had left the lights on of his buzzbox on and ran the battery as dead as a doorknob. To his luck the famous cobalt blue holden commodore ute was on hand to perform a perfectly executed jumpstart and see Ronan on his way. It truly continues to age and appreciate like a fine wine, one that Dr Findlay would probably like back on his shelf after they disappeared in the wee hours of one Monday morning in September last year.

Exhibit A: The Holden SS Commodore powering up the buzzbox

Any who as the olds continued to flow, our resident froggy got a little restless and mounted his army backpack before a call to arms that uncle sam would be proud of: “I want YOU for Bondi Beach Road.” However after popping their head in, the french quartet then navigated into unchartered territory for a change of scenery, stay tuned in future circulars for further details here. Onto the match report…. 

Exhibit B: Uncle JB giving orders
Match Report

Round 3 of the Clark cup saw the Oysters return to our second home reef Woollahra Oval #1 to take on Old Barker. After facing Old Barker 2’s in a friendly last year for Sluggos 400th we knew they would be a tough challenge for us playing their 1st grade for the first time. On that note Shoutouts to sluggo who was seen still running around for old Barker in 2’s last Saturday. Again like most of our matches the first half was a real battle for the Oysters. Old Barker struck first slicing through the Oysters defence to score under the sticks 7-0. Kosta Sykiotis returned serve shortly after for the Oysters and the scores were level through the first 20 minutes. Second Rower Zac Norgad did the lion’s share of the work carrying the Oyster forward pack with some very strong carries. However the Oyster men continued to struggle to convert any possession into meaningful field position and Old Barker to their credit punished us for our discipline and mistakes as they raced out to a 19-7 lead in the shadows of half time with the Oyster men reduced to 14. 

Staring down the first halftime deficit of the season Kosta had other ideas and produced what can only be described as a herculean effort to power through what seemed like half of the Old Barker team to score one of the more brilliant individual tries in Oyster history. Stand in fly half James Read then sliced through the Old Barker backline right after the kick stepping the fullback and scoring next to the sticks to level the Oysters at 19-19 at the half. 

In all of the excitement of the last 2 minutes of the half some Oyster men found themselves in a half time trance with halfback Tom Taylor joining the forwards for their halftime debrief & Zac Norgad questioning whether it was full time yet. With a renewed focus the Oysters got back out there full of energy and picked up where they left off prior to the half. Kosta crossed for his 3rd soon after the resumption and after Old Barker went down to 14 men through some ill discipline Kosta had 4! Hooker Hugh Morgan was at his pestering best in the 2nd half again finding himself provoking the ire of the opposition. Reserves Gus McClelland & Nick Stubbs crossed for 2 tries and before we knew it a match winning lead was ours. 

The match finished with our resident Frenchmen JB Etienne crossing the white stripe with the match finishing 54-24. Special mentions need to go to Kosta Sykiotis for his 4 tries, his fellow Greek Hero Lachlan Argiris who had a mammoth game leading by example in the forwards and James Reid who very ably stepped into the fly half role early into the first half a did not miss a beat. 

A week off this Saturday before a top of the table clash with Beecroft Saturday 6th May. 


The 25th of April marks a very important day for the Oyster clan. It’s written in our deep history, the Oysters always turn up and turn out for ANZAC Day as we endeavour to give back to our local community to which we owe so much. Unlike other clubs which may serve charitable services via a sausage sizzle at the closest Bunnings, the Oysters favourite way to give back to Sydney is by hosting the nation’s most lively game of Two-up, in our home trench at the Light Brigade Hotel. And so after we all attended morning processions at various dawn services in Coogee, Waverly, Bondi and the city, the Oysties gathered at the LBH suited and booted ready to win enough money to pay our subs.

Just like our rugby, our brand of Two-up is fast, furious and very frivolous. It’s been said that Oysters Two-up is played at a speed like no other, and judging by the crowd lining up at midday outside the LBH, the way we play is no longer a secret. 

With a ring marked our downstairs (and another family friendly ring upstairs) the Oysties ushered in the crowd and took turns on the microphone for the rest of the day. Club President Toby led the charge on the mic, giving new Oyster faces a lesson in holding court in a room full of strangers. And once Head Honcho had provided an education in balancing the right amount of jokes with the right amount of spins, the mic was soon taken over by the likes of Lach ‘The Birthday Boy’ Croc, Hamish “Ladies Day” Lorang and Rhino “Can Host, Can’t Spin to Save his Life” Campbell.

But the best host and a man we must give a special mention to was club partner Justin Sayer, who had the LBH crowd wrapped around his finger so eloquently, he was able to coach the crowd to sing verses of “Hey Baby” by DJ Ozti whilst the spinner was reloading the kip. Toby take note, we raise you a new choirmaster worth writing home about. Thanks to all the Oysters that came out on the day. We hope you won enough money to get a ticket for our bus ride to Beecroft next week.

Exhibit C: J. Sayer getting the crowd warmed up at the LBH

Whilst the LBH was our main event it is also worth noting the efforts of two gentlemen who put in a shift at the rathouse from 12-6, facilitating the flow of cash around the ring for a large number of servicemen and women. A rather steady operator contributed to not so steady scenes early doors, whilst a select few punters were ever present throughout the day and led to a very liquid two-up market. Shoutouts to old mate who executed a lovely 3 spin-win to walk away with 1600 big ones, and a special shoutout to Lea who demanded the mic back at 5:58pm to orchestrate the ode and conclude a marvelous day. See you all again next week as we battle it out against Beecroft.

Exhibit D: T. Taylor  providing a steady hand at North Bondi RSL Two UP


6th MAY: vs Beecroft at Headon Park

13th MAY: Wet Weather Week

20th MAY: vs Knox at Loftberg Oval



Sponsors Day: 3rd June at Woollahra Oval #1

Ladies Day: 22nd July at Woollahra Oval #1 



Thanks again to our amazing sponsors of 2023