Here ye’ all Oyster fans, friends and sponsors, we’re coming to you live this week from the top of the table after what has been the most scrum-packed fortnight in Oyster history. In the last 14 days we’ve slipped on our finest fits, put on some big hits and returned to our favourite patch of grass in all of Sydney, “The Reef”, which was the scene for one of our club's greatest wins in our short but illustrious history. We’ve got lots to cover so tuck a napkin into your shirt, mix up some seafood sauce and let’s rip the head off the proverbial prawn and dig in.
If the past fortnight was a pizza, it could be described as a half n’ half from The Light Brigade. A head-turning Mushroom and Pumpkin on the left and a Prawn ‘La Gamba’ on the right. Add an extra slice of smoked pancetta and what you’ve got is 360 degrees of delicious Oyster footy. Last week of course we ventured to Turramurra Memorial Oval for our Round 11 Clash with Barker. Being the last bus trip of the season on the P&O Cruise Liner, we decided to dress in style for our yearly runway of ‘Oyster Fits’ where we attempt to model ourselves as million dollar NBA players on a subbies Rugby budget. Cue the arrival of 25 Oysters wearing their sister’s fur coats, their Dad’s bookmaker jackets and a few pairs of crisp white sneakers that wouldn’t look out of place on the feet of any of the Backstreet Boys as they begin their 15th farewell tour around the globe. As sung by Lach The Croc, “I want it thaaaat wayyyy!”. With dashing hats, furs and some mind-bending party shirts, we disembarked the bus in style and captured our aesthetic with a TikTok reel that continues to rack up likes and make its way into the algorithms of many single girls around the East. Oh yes, the Oyster DM’s have never been more packed to the brim with local ladies asking which one of us Oysters are single and ready to mingle at our Ladies Day. All we can say is July 22nd girls, form an orderly line!!
Unfortunately our fashionable appearance at Barker didn’t seem to translate into stylish footy on the park. Despite coming away with a 36-13 Win, poor ball control, lack of comms on the field and a general absence of mongrel dog attitude caused a number of headaches for the Oysters coaching staff, who watched the game from both the sidelines and from the shores of the People’s Republic of Western Perth. Yes Coach Wiv was unable for our clash, and probably for better. Had he been onsite the writers of the Circular envision he would have strangled a few lazy forwards and sloppy handed backs with a feather boa and bludgeoned us to death with TT’s Ariat boots on the bus home. But alas we won the game. And we started planning for the treacherous and scary waters we had to sail in seven days' time.
Of course this week was our biggest clash of the season and we turned our heads towards redemption against our new foes, Beecroft. Having been spanked like a Welshman on Mad Monday in our previous game that shalt not be named, every fibre of the Oysters were determined to get one back. And as if we needed any more inspiration, our game on Saturday marked our ‘Return To The Reef’: Oysters Old Boys Day.
Exhibit A: The Reef in all her glory
Whilst our club only carries three years of history, you could be forgiven for thinking we are one of the oldest clubs in Subbies Rugby, such was the turnout at Rushcutters Park last Saturday. For a number of fresh faces, getting the chance to play on the hallowed turf of ‘The (Original) Reef’ was a lot like getting knighted by the Queen in a vet clinic; it was an honour but there’s a high chance you’ll step in some dogshit and you’ll also need to throw a few sticks. That being said, there’s not many places in the world where you can kick a Gilbert into touch, and that touch is the waters of the world’s prettiest harbour, and The Reef was as beautiful as ever for a day of Oyster Rugby. And what a day it was. With family and friends on the sideline, and plenty of Oysties who are considering retirement but just can’t seem to throw away their boots just yet, we ran out onto the greatest rugby ground on earth to a roaring crowd, and God did we put on a show! With an esky full of $5 tins and our hearts set on a win, the next 80 minutes defined what it meant to be an Oyster, a proud and sun soaked Oyster.
he return to the reef and it was amazing to see so many past and present players, as well as family, friends and groupies down at the spiritual home of oysters rugby, Rushcutters Bay for the top of the table clash against Beecroft.
The game was a top of the table clash for a reason, with Beecroft being atop of the competition for a reason and didn’t they show this in the first twenty minutes against the Oysters, the defence from both teams was bruising and ball in play, providing continued pressure for both sides. Beecroft skipped away to a 6 nil lead with two penalty goals, with the defence setting the tone for a bruising encounter. The game started to open up with ten minutes to go in the first half with Greg Hall diving over from close range to score the first try of the half and Beecroft hitting back immediately after with some nice hands to score in the corner. With the final play of the first half, the oysters mounted pressure and with a slick pass from Hugh Morgan, Jackson Garrels to made a half break to set up Jackson Gilbey to score besides the post to make it a 14-11 lead going into half time.
Exhibit B: The Oysters exiting the Reef triumphant
The Second half started much the way of the first half with some damaging defence and both teams trading penalty goals. After some sustained possession, the oysters scored a few nicely worked tries to George Hudd, James Hindle and Angus McClelland to open up a significant lead to finish the game. The Scoreline at the end of the game didn’t reflect how close these two teams are and the bruising encounter that the game was and we wish Beecroft all the best with their final games in the lead up to the finals.
See you all at Ladies day
Exhibit: Flanker C.Baker all smiles post win
22nd July: Pearls' Day (Ladies Day) Tickets now available through the below link
29th July: vs Old Iggies at Home