To all our beloved sponsors, parents, friends, supporters, doctors, sports physiotherapists, team psychologists, coaches and Max from the Light Brigade, we’re incredibly thrilled to announce that…
WE’RE BACK for the 2022 Season!
Freshly shucked and ready to be plucked, the Sydney Harbour Oysters have been sitting on ice since November, just biding our time for the perfect day to be served on a platter. A squeeze of lemon for extra zing? Why yes good sir, that makes us sing!
After wading through the last month of flood waters and torrential rains, much like the Titanic i.e. in spite of glaring dangers and unforeseeable hazards, we are full steam ahead into the 2022 NSW Suburban Rugby season!
The season officially launched last Saturday at the Bondi Bowling Club, where a collection of not 10, not 20, but 200 Oysters turned up to share a potato wedge and a thirst-quenching can of Beach Club Guava Vodka. A delightful refreshment, that transports your tastebuds to a tropical island dream on the beaches of Fiji or Playa del Carmen, we’re very excited to have the team at Beach Club onboard this year, to keep us well-hydrated after every game.
Now today’s circular is less of an illustrious write-up about our Christmas holiday adventures and more of a directive to “sharpen your finest Derwent 2B and open your leather bound diary” because we have a full set of dates for you to scribble into your calendar.
Here’s a collection of significant milestones and locations that deserve to be written on the fridge, your work email signature and on the back of your hand with a thick Sharpie permanent marker... (And yes, if you’re wondering, the Oysters are yet to secure an Official Office Supplies Partner for the 2022 season. Officeworks please reach out and please for the love of all things ocean-dwelling - return our calls!).
TRIALS - Saturday 2nd April
Yes that’s right - the Oysters will be heading to the inner-city concrete metropolis of Waterloo this weekend to slide on the jumper and play in a three-way tournament.
So give your Labraschmoodle a blow-dry, pack your Keepcups and get ready to order a large oat latte, extra hot for your Inner West picnic, as the Oysters play some Opal Card friendly rugby!
We’ll be taking on the Sydney Harlequins and the Sydney Irish (who we’re told are still hungover after last fortnights St Paddy’s Day celebration) so get ready, it’ll be one for the ages.
Kick Off: TBC
Oysters Roll Up: TBC
Location: Waterloo Oval (Weather Dependent)
Neptune Cup - Saturday 9th April
Once you’ve dry-cleaned the picnic blanket, start thinking about liquidating some assets so you have ample capital to fill up at Ampol (yes we’re also in the market for an Official Fuel and Service Partner) and be prepared for the jaunt south into the always lovely Sutherland Shire.
Exhibit A: Winning Neptune's Trident for the first time in 2020
The Oysters will be HEADLINING what can only be described as a festival of rugby thanks to the Southern Districts Rugby Club. We’ll be taking on our arch rivals and fellow ocean bottom feeders the North Cronulla Sea-Lice AFTER the First Grade Shute Shield match between the Southern Districts Rebels and the Gordon Highlanders.
And yes you’ve heard that (and/or read that, dependent on your internal monologue or if someone is verbalising this straight into your ear canals) correctly! The Oyster ascent into the stratosphere continues, dragging our metaphorical (or otherwise) crustaceous shells out of the depths of Division 6 to MAIN EVENT PRIMETIME LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE RUGBY UNION. And no you don’t even need to purchase it off Kayo / Stan Sport / Amazon Prime / Netflix (although they might make a documentary about us one day, watch this space).
Kick Off: 5:00pm
Oysters Bus Rolls Off: TBC
Location: Forshaw Rugby Park
Attendance: You guessed it… COMPULSORY!
WELCOME TO THE NEW COACH
The Oysters are delighted to announce the appointment of James Wivell as the Head Coach of the Oysters for the 2022 season.
James (or Wiv as he is commonly known) has joined us from Northern Suburbs Rugby Club, where he has recently been applying his trade as a player across all grades.
Wiv is an accomplished coach, developing his coaching skills with North’s lower grades, Newcastle Wanderers Junior Rugby (where he won multiple premierships) and junior representative teams in the Hunter & Far North Coast.
In addition to his coaching experience, Wiv has grown his rugby knowledge through a long & successful playing career spanning well over a decade. A career which includes representing NSW Country U/20's, Far North Coast open men’s, Newcastle Wanderers & North’s here in Sydney.
The club is very fortunate to have Wiv on board, signaling a new chapter for the Oysters as we continue to strive for continued success both on & off the field in 2022 & beyond.
Exhibit B: Wiv (Our Oyster Overlord) looks a natural in club colours
SEASON KEY DATES
Rd1: 23rd April
Golf Day: 20th May *Tentative
Wet Weather weekend: 21st May
Guaranteed Bye: 9th July
Wet Weather Weekend: 6th August
Final Round: 20th August
Grand Final: 10th September
Ladies Day: TBA
Sponsors Day: TBA
Just like watching a Marvel Film, here at the Oysters we like to keep the best little morsels for the very end of the newsletter… Kiama Sevens!
An unofficial/official first day in Oysters kit, on the 25th of February a collection of our smartest and brightest decided to brave the once-in-a-generation storm and head south to the 50th Anniversary of the famous Kiama Sevens tournament.
Exhibit C: The Kiama locals heard the Oysters were in town and came running!
Played a shells throw from the Kiama Surf Beach, so close to the ocean you could score a try before boogie boarding back to the kick off, the Oysters rolled into Kiama excited to showcase our unique brand of basketball football.
Upon realising that Sevens is played a little differently to the 15-man game, it took some time on the sideline for us to study the form and tactics of other teams, before we realised our one-out hit ups weren’t going to win us a trophy.
After a close loss to La Perouse (the former 2020 Rugby Sevens Olympic Gold Medalists) and another to Lakes Rugby (2016 Rio Olympics Silver Medalists), the Oysters finally started calculating some numbers and came back with a resounding WIN over the Burraneer HammerHeads in our 3rd and final game.
Exhibit D: Slippery Oyster Roy Harrison on the hunt for a meat-pie - shame the BBQ at that end only sold B&Es!
Unfortunate to not make it through the semi-finals, we sadly packed up our tent, gave ourselves a proper bath before heading out to share a few quiet drinks with the locals. And let’s just say, when 15 very hungry and thirsty Oysters roll into the Kiama Leagues Club for a training session on the dancefloor, the local Kiama economy is the real winner!
A special shout out to the Kiama Sevens organisation committee for having us. Also a big thank you to Oysters Tom Taylor and Peter Fenwicke who took charge of booking us beds, couches and arranging a place to roll out our swags for the night. My back has never been the same since!
Exhibit E: Also on the lookout for an Official Stain Removal Partner. We love Oxy-Action Napisan! We just love it!
That's all folks, we’re incredibly excited to be back in your weekly inbox as we build towards another very successful season!
As always, Shuck Em!