Hawkesbury sunset at night, an Oystie delight

Hawkesbury sunset at night, an Oystie delight

Greetings all, we hope this far-reaching circular finds you well and continues to be the highlight of your week. The week that was in Oysterland went a little like this…

Surprise surprise - it rained again this week. Not even Lach the props return from the Hellenic republic, with his all orthodox powers was enough to stop precipitation, bringing Barracluff festivities to a halt. And the Jimmy Wivhills of last week were traded in for a very exciting spot of trivia: Are you smarter than an Oyster? The patrons of the Light Brigade Hotel watched on in awe. For this wasn’t the regular monday night trivia often won by a motley crew of weirdos, this was Oyster trivia! A scholarly phylum mollusca formed to take part in a set of 25 truly mind-bending questions, expertly facilitated by club captains croc and woody (I mean it lacked verbose but was entertaining all the same!) The best complement to some tantalising trivia? Well that’d be a quattro pizza and a pint of your favourite poison (Tooheys New). A fabulous time was had by all

Exhibit A: Centre N. Stubbs finding some space in the HAC defensive line

Now it is becoming a running theme that our one eyed, four wheeled, flying purple oyster mover is fashionably late to ferry us to our beloved bus trip away games. Note to self, it is always paramount to have a Plan B!

But you see this week was somewhat fashionably later than usual, in a rather un-ideal week when we had requested for an earlier kick off in order to get back to the SCG and support our feeder team later that evening. But Mr Driver was akin to Tim Bailey, exclaiming to us (or something to the effect of): “But why thou travel out to Hawkesbury, it is as wet as a shag!” Thankyou mr driver but the show must go on! And go on it did, the bus was cabaret on wheels. Oyster men were getting strapped, stretched and ready to rumble on the bus so they were ready to roll straight into the game as they alighted from the vehicle. And that they did, to stunning effect. 

Exhibit B: Flanker T. Mencinsky stepping of the right into space

Coaches Report

As Eddie Jones was preparing his England side for battle against the Wallabies, his cousin Eduardo was driving the Oysters out to Hawkesbury for the round 11 clash. As Eduardo was caught up having lunch with cousin Eddie, this put a delay on the trip out to the game, so much so that the Oysters where strapped and hitting the foam rollers on the bus. After a quick warm up and a discussion with the referee, the oysters where fired up and ready to go.

As the game kicked off, the return of Lach “the prop” Argiris was noticeable, eagerly looking for work as soon as the ball was kicked. The oysters played up tempo, which lead to some great ball movement and early tries from Angus McClelland and Tom Mencinsky. The continued pressure in defense, saw some turn overs for the oysters and saw the oysters continue to play a expansive game that saw Harri Greville and Hamish Lorang finish with four tries at the completion of the game.

Exhibit C: Fullback H. Lorang on his way to 1 of 4 tries. 

Massive shout out to Hawkesbury for hosting for the day and good luck for the rest of the year.



The Oysters are hardly known as the quickest showerers in the metropolitan, but by-gee their efforts on Saturday were sure to change the public opinion on this. Before you could say “Big Bus Big Wiv” they had washed off the mud and the blood, whacked on the smell-good and were headed back into town to support their feeder club. They would bring the energy, and the vibe, radiating more mwH on that bus that Vivid did during a power crisis! The bus trips are truely sublime, and this one was upbeat, fast and action packed. The light that burns half as long burns twice as bright. Special mentions most go to various men on the bus who love a bit of the limelight. We start with Robbo and Mencinsky who did Hinder proud, before rolling into a lovely cover of Angels by Tom Jones, and then an emo-duo of Prop and Stubbs closing with a bitta Blink 182. And in a first for our big beautiful bus trips, we ran out of gods nectar, Tooheys New. A call to arms to all beachclub and neds whiskey guzzlers to return to the bus ASAP and restore this balance! As the bus did a perfect kerbside stop back in some familiar territory, the flash mob of Oysters dispersed, went forth and conquered! They must get to the game and to the game they got! We won’t speak anymore on the matter, only to say that Eddie Jones called Wiv to congratulate him on the big bus and ask if it were him who’d made his way atop of the SCG seeking some relief during the game….. Till next week!

Exhibit D: Flyhalf D. Robertson lining up a 2 on 1 (SPEED OF THOUGHT!) to put away winger S. Gould for a try. 

                                          The Oyster yay of the day

We Oysters are well rounded men and like to celebrate success both on and off the field. This can be in many shapes and forms including engagements, graduations, new jobs and so forth! This week we would like to give a special shout-out to our newest Australian citizen, Harry Gravel, who completed his test and received a certificate from Steve Irwin’s hologram. One more vote for Katter in the next election!

Exhibit E: The new Aussie with a newly anglicised name Harry Gravel streaking away for his 4th try


23rd July: vs Northern Saints at Lyne Park 

30th July: Wet Weather Week (No Match) 

6th August: Away vs Chatswood 

13th August: Away vs Canterbury 


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